Everything else – self-judgment, misunderstanding, frustration, anger caused by unmet expectations – can be left behind. You see, expectations occur in the world of assumptions, and assumptions occur when you take something for granted – if you haven`t established or built an agreement on the result you want to produce. An expectation is when they are firmly convinced that something is going to happen. Expectation lives in you, and it is based on your view of the world and your life experiences. The way things have happened in the past allows you to make certain assumptions about what they can expect in the future. If you have expectations that relate to what someone else will say or are going to do, and they don`t, it can trigger a number of negative things – judgment, frustration, misunderstanding, anger – that are capable of creating a gap in the relationship. It`s the same thing that happens when you make certain expectations towards yourself. This can happen with just about everything in your life. I`m talking about the expectations and assumptions you make about yourself and your life. You know, the expectations that you have to be in a specific place in your career to be in a loving relationship, have the body you`ve always wanted to succeed… To be the best version of self. I often hear managers complain that their expectations are not met by their teams.
I hear all kinds of professionals complaining about their employees or their clients. They expect a certain result or behaviour, and they do not get it. “No, of course not. But what is the agreement? I asked Ron. We all fall short of those expectations. They are often ignored, but are part of the internal self-dialogue that we conduct with ourselves every day. We will never meet our expectations. The agreements are based on promises, a kind of commitment. Since the failure to do the job is now breaking a promise, not only an omission to meet your expectations, it is much less likely that this will happen. Without really knowing what he was doing in the car, he asked me if I could get ready 10 minutes before next time. And I agreed.
He took what wasn`t working – he expected to leave at 1:15 a.m. – and he made an agreement with me so he could get what he wanted the next time, which was clearly said and agreed upon by both of us. If you`ve taken the time to think about what leads to the desired results and you`re making an agreement with yourself (or with a coach, a friend or something like the Whole Life Challenge, where you`re responsible), it`s going to be really easy.